Being chosen as a best man is an honour.
But if the wedding is in Italy? It’s also a responsibility.
Here’s what truly matters. I hope this practical, ready to use, guide will be helpful. Feel free to share it with your best men!
Introduction
“Does the boutonnière go in the pocket?”
“How long should the tie be?”
“Am I really in charge of the rings?”
You said yes without hesitation.
Then, quietly, you wondered: what exactly am I supposed to do now?
Being the groom’s best man isn’t a symbolic title. It’s presence. It’s a responsibility. It’s standing still in the room when emotions rise.
As a wedding photographer, I’ve seen extraordinary best men… and others completely overwhelmed. Over the years, I’ve gathered the advice no one officially gives you — practical, thoughtful, experience-based. Consider this your personal guide.
Save this article. It will make a difference.
Before the wedding: be his steady ground
Even before the ceremony, your role is beautifully simple: lighten the weight.
● Plan the bachelor party around who he truly is — not what tradition expects
● Help with suit choices (if he asks for your opinion)
● Send him a message in the days leading up to the wedding — sometimes a few sincere words are enough
In the whirlwind of planning, you’re the person who can transform tension into a smile.
During the preparation: the details that make the difference (also in photos)
This is where attention shows. Even if you’re not a professional.
These are the images they’ll revisit for decades — joyful, charged with anticipation, beautifully real before the “I do.”
Boutonnière
● Always on the left lapel
● Above the pocket, never inside it
● If there’s a boutonnière, skip the pocket square
Tie
● Half Windsor knot: refined and secure
● The tip should reach mid-belt
● Collar neatly folded down
Socks
Long. Always.
Bare calves during a church ceremony are just not nice.
Bring with you
● Safety pins
● Small scissors (there is always one forgotten label)
● A spare shirt (especially for summer weddings)
● Water
Preparedness equals calm. Calm looks good in photos.
During the ceremony: where to stand, what to do, what NOT to do
Positioning
Facing the altar:
● Bride and her witnesses stand on the left
● Groom and his witnesses stand on the right
(For destination weddings, always check with the planner or officiant — traditions vary.)
Rings
If you’re in charge of them:
● Keep them in a secure box
● The photographer will likely ask for them in the morning for detail shots
● Avoid deep pockets
● Double-check before entering the ceremony
This is the one responsibility you truly cannot improvise.
Avoid:
● Holding your phone
● Sunglasses resting on your head
● Chewing gum
Small distractions become permanent in photographs.
A photographer’s note: when the groom gets emotional, he will instinctively look at you. Smile. That frame will live forever.
At the reception: celebrate, but you’re still on duty
Yes, celebrate.
But stay sharp.
Speech
● Keep it around 3 minutes
● Share one meaningful, authentic story
● Avoid embarrassing jokes
● Remember: grandparents, children, extended family are present
Humor works best when it’s generous, not provocative.
Group photos
Help the photographer locate:
● Wandering uncles
● Friends at the bar
● Cousins who disappeared to the parking lot
A collaborative best man is invaluable.
Ideas that truly make a difference
● A private playlist for the morning
● A handwritten letter before he gets dressed
● A bottle of water right after the ceremony
● A small post-ceremony emergency kit
You don’t need to impress.
You need to be present.
Conclusion
If he chose you, it’s because you are the person he wants beside him when everything accelerates.
That role you thought was symbolic?
It’s deeply real.
Be the steady presence.
Be the balance.
Be the certainty.
In other words… be the best man you would want for yourself.
And remember: every professional on the wedding day is there to make everything flow smoothly — including the photographer.
💬 If this article was helpful, share it with the other groomsmen.
📷 If you’re looking for a wedding photographer, I’d love to hear about your plans, get in touch!
🔄 If you’re the groom, send this to your best man — he’ll thank you after the wedding.
The guide for the maid of honor is coming soon — follow along to stay updated.
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